My conclusions and conundrums with Ramayana

As most Indians of my age, the stories of Dashavataras, Rama, Krishna, etc were the popular stories, movies and books we grew up with before Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Wimpy kid and such took over our kids' libraries.
As I was thinking of what to write for the April edition of Nachiketanjali, I was reminded that April is also when Sri Rama Navami is celebrated. Sri Rama Navami happens to be the Birthday and Marriage Day of Lord Rama. Coincidentally, my son's class was also doing a unit on Role models. So, keeping both in mind, I wanted to re-tell what I heard about the story of Rama in a manner to interest and intrigue my 9 year old and also wanted to re-learn what that great epic was trying to convey and how we can apply it to our lives now.
One thing I always felt and still believe is that the story of Ramayana seems so close to our lives. The various episodes of Ramayana, the characters, their conflicts, emotions and dilemnas seem very real and easily applicable to today even. So, I started thinking how it would be if the same Ramayana played out in todays' times...can we learn from how Lord Rama conducted himself at that time and somehow emulate. One big difference is that Ramayana was from Treta Yuga when the Dharma bull, which symbolises morality, stood on three legs and it is now standing on one leg during the current Kaliyuga. This difference is also represented by the different dharmas and gunas that prevailed during those times vs. now.

Coming back to the topic of what we can learn from Ramayana and how to apply it to present times:
Not to take away any credit from volumes and volumes of chapters and episodes written by Valmiki, to me there are these 3 episodes that standout and are the defining ones. "Define" in this context is to define Lord Rama's character as an Ideal Son, Ideal Husband and Ideal Ruler/Leader/King

1. Obeying father and going on a 14 year exile to the forest
2. Waging a war against Ravana and rescuing Sita
3. Sita's Agnipariksha to prove her purity and later on abandoning her again based on some layman's comments:

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert in these topics nor have I have studied Ramayana in depth. What I am trying to express here are just my honest conclusions and confusions that I came up with .

• Obeying father and going on a 14 year exile to the forest: The obvious point here is that Rama showed us what it means to be an 'Ideal Son'. He showed us what it means to follow one's Dharma which was (to him) to obey his father and also enable his father to keep up his promise made to Kaikeyi. It is easy to question and just say 'Why should we blindly follow parents even if they are wrong?' I think the key is not 'following parents', it is 'following Dharma' and doing your duties rightfully as children. What would have happened if he didn't obey his father and instead just stayed back in Ayodhya.... we can only imagine.

• Waging a war against Ravana and rescuing Sita: This, to me just shows that Rama was a devoted husband and he showed us what it means to be one and how one needs to be ready to go to any extent like wage a war or go through any amount of difficulties to save/protect your loved ones. Of course, Rama was also fulfilling his duty as the yugapurusha to end the raise of evil in the form of Ravana.

• Sita's Agnipariksha to prove her purity and later on abandoning her again based on some layman's comments:  This one is difficult for me to understand. I am still not 100% sure what is being conveyed by Rama's actions here. Was it that Rama believed in Sita so much and trusted her that she would come out of the agnipariksha unscratched and so let her do it more to prove to the people and to have them accept her wholeheartedly? I keep wondering 'why couldn't he just stand by her and say he will trust her no matter what'. Isn't that what any woman would expect from her husband? Why did he have to look for people's approval to accept his wife?   Also, why did he have to abandon her again when she was pregnant because some layman commented something. But, here is another point of view, was he trying to also be an Ideal Ruler and so he did not want to give any explanations and exceptions and wanted to establish just one rule of Dharma for everyone no matter who, in his kingdom. Was there a conflict between being an Ideal Ruler vs. Ideal Husband in this situation? To be an ideal ruler, he had to be spotless and so he was ready to put his own wife, Sita through whatever sacrifice to become that spotless Ideal Ruler who cannot be questioned?

After all this, I am convinced about one thing that is also so obvious - Our Destiny and our Life is all about the choices we make. Humans are the only beings that have this great power or gift of choice and along with this power also comes great responsibility. What Rama showed us is that there are choices we need to make at every step, the right choice of Dharma may not always be the easy one,but will be the one that will take us to our ultimate goal or Moksha. Our primary purpose in life is to follow our Dharma and do our duties at any point of time wholeheartedly.