How much can I influence

The other day Avi asked me some questions about some scenes in Star Wars and it got me thinking about all the different influencers he has in his life right now. I am starting to realize that these years now (ages 6 to 20 or so) are probably the most formative ones for him in terms of building his character. I also realized that this is also the time when his time spent with us (chandu and me) is going down and down. If you think about it in a purely mathematical fashion, here is how the 24 hrs in a day break down to:

1. Wake up and get ready to school – 1 hr (7 to 8)
2. School time – 8 hrs (8 – 4)
3. Homework, relax, activities, family time – 5 hrs (4 to 9)
4. Sleep – 10 hrs (9 to 7)

Now, if you add some activities, school projects into number 3, those 5 hrs are cutdown even further. Just for fun, I googled 'Parental Influence on kids' and found the above graph which is somewhat true I think but, not all that motivating for parents like us. There are research studies being done and have some conflicting reports… saying parental influence is very strong vs. not much. I wonder what the ideal graph would look like where we have all the right percentage of influences from the right sources.
Anyway, I like to believe that it can be as strong as we can make it to be. Many a time when I am faced with a tough situation, I think about how Mommy or Daddy would react to it and somehow carve my reaction from it. I don’t think they built this influence by spending hours and hours with us during our growing up years and I think its more from their actions that they gained our trust and respect… its “Teaching By Example”

Pray.. why do I do it

I have heard the term ‘God fearing’ a lot and wonder if ‘God’ is someone we should fear. I think it may be related to the fact that most ‘God fearing’ people think God is the supreme lawmaker and actions that are wrong in ‘His’ eyes are bad and He has a way to punish us for those wrong actions. I am not entirely sure about ‘Him’ punishing us but, I think having this belief is good to instill some integrity and moral values. I think it’s the ‘unknowns’ that I fear mostly and since I don’t know what God has in store for me (I know there can be lot of debates here about how our destiny is in our hands and not in God's hands but, I believe in some supreme power or fate that has a hand), it turns out sometimes I fear him too. All that said, when I read this below passage (from the Bible) on a friend’s blog it reminded me of why I pray.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

Like most other people, I sometimes tend to remember God lot more and reach out to him lot more when I am going through some tough times and need His helping hand… there are also times when I used to start doubting him and wondered if I should even bother praying. I think as I have grown in age and seen quite a bit of ups and downs in life, the latter part is not happening much or rather not happening at all. This is because I believe prayer gives me hope and strength to remain positive even in the most trying times.
I think what I seek in my prayers is peace and confidence and like to go to bed assured that there is God whose agenda is definitely to take care of me and give me the power and strength to live this life that he has given me.
It doesn’t matter what religion one practices and who one refers to as ‘God’, just that strength and confidence one gets from this belief is enough to live this life.

When your team is not with you

To start off, this post is going to be stating the obvious all the way....Everyone knows that when your team is not really with you, it can cause some havoc and in some extreme cases...lead to major coup that topple governments, etc.
Anyway, here is a personal experience..during one of our Thursday night Badminton games, Chandu and I got separated and ended up playing against each other. My initial thought was that it would be easy since I know his strengths and thought I could read his moves and take his shots. Well, in reality the opposite happened...somehow I was completely thrown off balance and I couldn't really handle him as an opponent. We have been playing as Doubles partners for many years now and think we have a fairly good chemistry on the court. But, somehow playing against him was a whole different shuttle game. I started thinking about it a bit and realized that it is in fact true that when your team is against you, they can become a strong opponent more because you are not prepared to play 'against' them. This is very true in any team dynamic...the folks on the team who are not working with/for the team can be hard to manage and can bring the whole team down. So, as a leader, building high performing teams means pick the best players with strengths that complement each other and also keep monitoring and weed off the players that are playing against the team. Its not always true that the people against the team are bad or malicious... its just that they belong to another team.