The curtain raises and always falls...

As I was reading, watching and pondering over the recent news about Michael Jackson's death and all the related stories mushrooming all over about his life, what he was and what he was not, what he had and what he had not, one thing that jumped at me was - how in birth and death, we are all exactly the same... its just the time in between that is 'to each their own'. If you compare this to a movie, imagine if every single movie started the same way and ended the same way, but with a different plot in between.. how interesting or rather how boring would that be...and would we want to still keep going and watching those movies. But, here is where comes the genius of our Creator... it seems like He has an unlimited supply of screenplays up his sleeve and although He brings us all into this being the same way and takes us away in the same way, he makes the period in-between so interesting and totally action packed and a nail-biting suspense thriller right until the very end.
Something I read recently also stayed with me... its about the purity in a child's smile/joy. When we are born, we are so pure, devoid of any expectations from the world, from each other and can accept anything and everything just for what it is. This purity gives us the ability to feel the pure love, sheer happiness without too much analysis and reasoning. As we grow older and older and our reasoning power develops, it also takes away our ability to accept things just as is.. we start to analyze and over-analyze each interaction, situation, start to plan and over-plan our days, our life and slowly lose the ability to just live in the moment and experience the moment.
Ok.. I think I am getting confusing now...just recollect the last time you saw a smile or joy on a child's face.. it is so pure, children just feel the love when you give them a little hug or a little smile or even a little lollipop and experience it whole heartedly... now lets say we did the same to another 'grown up' person, the first thing they start to think is 'why did this person be nice to me? Does he/she want something from me? How should I react? I don't want to look dumb or silly... lemme just ignore for now... so on and so forth' and in the process completely miss enjoying/feeling that smile or love. Imagine.. if only we could preserve the child like purity through out life and experience life for what it is....
Anyway, so as the curtain of our life is lifted, we all start off the same way...as a little baby with so much purity. Then, as the movie starts reeling, our lives transform from one to the other just as the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, there are also so many expectations built, impressions made, there are so many bonds made, so many bonds broken, there are so many emotions experienced, so many of so many things happen in between making us constantly thinking or planning for 'what next'... and then suddenly..poof....He decides.. 'Time is up'... and the curtain comes down. The curtain raising and the curtain closing are the constant and everything in between... is what we call Life... a Live Movie where characters are all real and not fictitious, but not representing any other person living or dead.. each character is absolutely unique...

So, what exactly am I trying to convey: NOTHING. Don't read too much into it.. its just me expressing my conundrum of thoughts, confusions and musings... that's all

Just learning to live with it

Ani and I started talking, planning for Mom’s 1yr anniversary and I cannot really believe it’s almost a year since her passing. I remember rushing to Hyd on July 13th, 2008 as the doctors thought she was ‘critical’. The next 3 weeks felt like being caught in the worst tornado of our lifetime as we saw mommy slowly but surely slipping away. She was becoming more and more 'distant' and I think that was God’s way of preparing Mom and us for what was coming or rather going.
The days, weeks and the months following that have been somewhat of a roller coaster ride as we try to slip back into our lives. I remember people trying to console us saying ‘Only time can heal this pain’.. I really don’t think this pain can be healed and this is called 'healing'.. its just getting used to living with this pain. There have been days when I cannot shake her off my head, there have been times when I am missing her most and thats when I most definitely feel her presence and hear her voice in my head as though trying to tell me that she has not gone away, but is still part of our lives. There are also times when I feel she is putting in a word to God on our behalf and taking care of matters for us from up there.
I know we have our lives to go on and in addition to the memories of the past, we still have lot more memories to build upon in our lives, kids, etc but there is this part of me that just cannot feel the same again.. I cannot pin point what it is, but there is something that is lost.. its probably the secure feeling of having mom to run to with anything and everything, its probably the craving for her hug, its probably her sympathetic ear that listened attentively to anything small or big and her reassurance that things will be ‘just fine’. There is no cure to this pain.. am just learning to live with it.

Doctors, Practitioners and all

I have been dealing with a few doctors lately for some minor issues (Thank God.. they were just minor annoyances and not more than that). First for the disclaimers: I have the highest regard for the medical profession and think it’s a true Gift to be able to be in that field that can have real life impact every single day. I am also surrounded by a family of doctors and I dare not offend any of them :)

Anyway, interestingly, I came across these definitions for Doctor, Practitioners and they made me ponder:

Physician/Doctor: A physician, medical practitioner, doctor of medicine, or medical doctor practices medicine, and is concerned with maintaining or restoring human health through the study, diagnosis, and treatment ofdisease and injury

Practioner:
An individual who supplies health care services, ie, physician, psychologist, nurse practitioner.
Someone who practices a learned profession.

I think (don’t mean to simplify) the art and science of proper diagnosis involves processing of a massive flowchart with the answers we give to doctors’ questions and/or the symptoms we describe, helping the doctor traverse the flowchart. In the simple cases, this following through the chart will lead to a fairly solid conclusive diagnosis and that leads to a fairly sure shot treatment. Now, as things get a bit more complex or tricky which I assume they often do, the flow through the chart may not lead to a conclusive diagnosis and this is when you can differentiate a good/experienced doctor vs. a not so great one The good ones look beyond the flowchart and use other data points such as their own experience from seeing other patients and other characteristics of the patient itself and generally from these can come up with a good game plan on how to proceed, but the not so good ones end up looking for guidance from the textbooks and end up ‘practicing’ his profession and not playing the real game. (Pun intended).

So, what does one do if they are caught in these practice games?.. well.. lets hope they play well so we get out of the game altogether. If not, what works for me is to get a second opinion and that’s usually from one of the doctors in the family or rather mostly from my bro (who I think is the best doctor in the whole world) and decide if its time to switch doctors or stick to the practice game.

Disclaimer again: This post is not intended to offend Doctors or the Medical profession.. it is just a post reminiscing my recent experiences.

Imagine That

Ever since I became a parent, I sometimes feel the need to be more in control of our lives. I want to be able to give my children the best possible life, protect them from anything that can cause them pain or sadness and do whatever it takes to see them have a long happy fruitful life, full of love, laughter and dreams coming true.

I know there are a lot of things in our control on how we shape our life, future, how we have the choice of making the best out of every situation.
But, when I read about all the crime, illnesses, hardships that people face around the world, it feels like there is a lot that is not exactly in our control and people like me who believe in God or some superior power above us believe that whatever is happening is according to His grand scheme and believe He has this whole thing figured out and has a rhyme and reason for every single occurrence of good, bad and the ugly,

Some people say God created ‘Evil’ so we can appreciate the ‘Good’, God created Darkness so we can appreciate the Light, God created Sickness so we can appreciate Health. But, how can I teach my kids to be honest when we see honesty is not always rewarded and the path of honesty is more often a tough one with lots of obstacles; How can I teach my kids the value of hard work , sincerity and perseverance when they and us see lots of examples of people who cheat, ‘play the politics’ or indulge in some other form of corruption and yet make it to the top accolades; How can I teach my kids to be socially responsible and help others irrespective of color, caste, religion when we see people killing each other in the name of religion, color or some other petty reason and yet get away with little to no punishment;

I am not saying we should all give up on teaching and showing our kids Good vs. Bad. I just wonder if we really need to see all this Bad to be able to appreciate the Good
Imagine a world where there is nothing bad.. can’t we all just live happily and go through the circle of life in a more predictable manner....The same God who created all this could have chosen to not create this much of the Bad.. isn’t it? Sorry, God with all due respect to your powers and greatness.. I just don’t get it.. do we really need to see this much of chaos…..obviously I don't know a lot of stuff about God, Evolution and all that. But, I have the power to dream and imagine and I will continue to dream and imagine a world where everything is just ‘Good’ and ‘Beautiful’ and everybody is just 'Happy'...

Getting the most bang for each day

We have all heard, read about 'living in the moment', 'getting the most out of life', 'find your passion before the grim reaper arrives', etc. But, here is a different twist to that....read on
Now, if you think our average lifespan is about 70yrs ( Current World Average is 70 as per wikipedia and there are variations by gender, race, etc and all that is besides the point anyway)
This translates to ~25,500 days in all. That sounds like a lot of days.
Now, the first 6-7 years which translates to ~2500 days we are mostly happy and have pretty good time in general.
Its from about 7 years old or so that we start experiencing moods and seem to somewhat understand/experience different emotions and start to form our own outlook towards life. (Disclaimer: I am sure this definitely varies from individual to individual and I am no expert in the area of how the human brain develops through the years and this is just purely from my observation of my boys)
So, its really about 63 years translated to ~23000 days that we have to play with and can choose to do whatever we want with these days.
Now, let's say we use this comparison: What if we are given a total of $23,000 for our entire life and we are asked to live our life with it. For most of us, the natural instinct would be to try and maximize what we can get from these 23 thousand dollars.. we will do all kinds of research and bargain hunting to get the most 'bang for our buck'. We will try to invest in it to stretch that pool and so on..
What if we view our days the same way too and try to get the most 'bang for each day'.. find our passion, do something each day that will make you truly happy, invest in it so you can stretch your days and stretch the quality of those days..

How to make soft chapatis - the 34,101st recipe for beginners

So.. about 3 weeks ago I started my quest in the land of chapati making. Why.. you may wonder, well.. coming from a rice eating state of AP, chapatis and rotis were not a regular item on the menu in our house, but lately I have realized the health effects this may have and wanted to replace rice with the healthier option of Whole Wheat Chapatis. So...I decided to have me-made chapatis for dinner everyday. My memories of my previous attempts which ended in crispy or sometimes hard leather like chapatis did scare me a bit, but this time I was determined to put in more effort and give it my 100% for at least 2 weeks before giving it all up again. I even thought of another option of developing a taste for crispy chapatis viewing them just like the mexican hard tacos, but that idea didn't go too far and I had no option but to learn making soft chapatis.
So, my first step was to go to Google and type: 'How to make soft chapathis?' I was prompted by the spell-checker and learnt that the correct spelling is 'Chapati' and not 'Chapathi'. Really...I am still not too sure, but Google says it so it must be correct :-)
Anyway, my google search resulted in about 34,100 results and after reading a few, I realized there are some very elaborate recipes which pretty much nullify the health effects of going with whole wheat chapatis by adding butter to the dough or some such thing. Then there are other recipes that are just way too complicated for me to follow with a number of different ingredients that need to be precisely measured, kneaded, etc. Finally, I found a set of "least common denominator" instructions that most of the recipes included and I decided to go with those. Now, its been about 17 days since I started and I have been able to consistently make soft chapatis that stay soft for 24 hrs and beyond. This post is my attempt at not just becoming the 34,101st result, but to help a beginner chapati maker like myself with some simple/easy tips that he/she can master in a short amount of time.

So, here you go (pay special attention to the ones in italics):
1. I used the Laxmi Brand Whole Wheat Flour (nothing added)
2. Take 2 cupts of the flour, 1/2 teaspoon of Norton salt
3. Some Hot Water
4. Some milk * - Definitely makes a difference. Without this, I didn't get them as soft
5. 2 teaspoons of oil
6. Knead the flour into dough * - in the end, the dough should not be sticking to your hands. If it does, add more flour and it should be almost like chewing gum. Knead at least for 15mins
7. Keep the dough aside for at least 30 mins with a little damp wash cloth covered on it. What worked even better is when I made the dough in large quantity and stored it in the Fridge overnight. The chapatis came out even softer next day onwards
8. When you are ready to make chapatis, put the tawa on the stove and let it heat up
9. Make balls - You will need to try couple of times before fixing on a size that works for you
10. Roll into chapati - not too thick or too thin
11. Wait for tawa to be fully hot * - this is very important and made a difference.
12. Put the rolled chapati on the tawa
13. Wait couple of minutes and you will notice very small bumps and then turn to other side * - if this takes longer because the tawa is not hot enough in step 11, the chapati ends up being more harder and crispy like papad
14. On this side, use a damp cloth or paper towel and press around, while the chapati puffs
15. After all the chapati has puffed, turn to other side and repeat step 14
16. You can store in a hot box/casserole now as is or apply just little oil and store * - Oil didn't make much difference to the softness, but does a bit to the taste and feel

That's it.. Now, if I have ready dough in the fridge, about 5-6 chapatis which is what we need for one meal in our house takes about 20mins or less. Now, I am motivated to keep this going hoping I can always find 20mins before dinner to make yummy me-made whole wheat chapatis.
Whether I have mastered it or not, only time will tell, but I am pretty confident that if I keep doing what I am doing now, I will get soft chapatis in the end.
Hope these instructions will prove useful to someone who doesn't want to go with the other time-tested options of buying them from a store or someone else.
I know it has been just few days and so I cannot consider myself an expert. Please drop me a line if you have tried these tips and the result has been different or if you think I was just plain lucky in getting them soft.

Being a woman...

Our upanishads said this already:

Karyeshu dasi, Karneshu mantri,
Roopeshu Lakshmi, kshameshu dharitri,
Bhojeshu matha, Shayaneshu vaishya,
Shatkarma nari, Kuladharma pathni.

The following is more real and is very well expressed and it definitely deserves a spot in my blogland. I received this in email this morning and it certainly jump-started my day and made me feel somewhat special and proud.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the coffee, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most
importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

Please appreciate "HER"